Chosen
by Tori Lynn Leblanc
Summary: Zelos has a secret that he's hidden his entire life, and he's not about to spill it to just anyone. But just as the lies are beginning to wear him down, he finds someone he knows he can trust with anything. The Chosen now has a choice to make. Zelloyd. INDEFINITE HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first official Zelloyd fic! I've written plenty of drabbles in my school notebooks, but this is the first of my Zelloyd work to be read by public eyes! The plan for this story is five or six chapters... nothing huge. The M rating is for later chapters... and some language following this chapter.**

**That being said, enjoy! Don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ToS... If I did, Zelloyd would be even MORE canon.**

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><p>They would never have guessed. Not in a million years, and not if I'd given them a thousand hints. Not one of them. My games deterred them from such thoughts ever entering their minds—Zelos the philanderer, Zelos the pervert. Zelos is gonna go wrangle some snatch. Makes sense, right?<p>

Yeah, except for the fact (the _extremely _little-known fact) that I was almost a hundred percent positive I was gay. Nobody knew, not a soul. It kinda sucked having to hide and lie and deceive my friends, but I knew it was probably _so_ much better that they didn't know. It would've made things _so_ complicated that it wasn't even worth the trouble.

All the stories I told them were true, though. I'd slept with more women than I could count (which says a lot; I'm good at math) and I'd _never_ been with a man. So, how did I know, right? That I was really the "g" word. That's why it was only "_almost_ a hundred percent." There was just no part of me that wanted to be around females. When I was younger, maybe a little… but men were _so_ much more interesting to me. Particular interests? I'll get back to that one.

Raine said we were in need of a place to stay for the night and Sheena didn't want to camp. Being only a short ride away from Altamira, the reigning Queen Professor Sage decided that's where we'd stay, and of course I was thrilled, because there were so many things to do at night in that city. The casino was always buzzing, the beach at night was dazzling, and the amusement park lit up in the darkness was perfect for dates—I would know, having had plenty of them there… if you could _call_ them dates; the women hanging all over me and only in it so they could say they slept with the Chosen. Per Raine's orders, we hopped onto our Rheairds and arrived at the hotel in Altamira just before dark—perfect.

The cute clerk at the front desk-complete with her sexy bunny suit-reserved a room for us, then asked us if we were going out for the night. Raine gave each of us a stern look, saying no to the polite lady, but I ignored her anyway; as much as I liked her, I couldn't have cared less what she thought I shouldn't do.

"I know _I_ am," I said, and laughed lightly. It was all a part of my act; I was supposed to go out. So after we ate dinner at the hotel, I pocketed one of the room keys and went off on my own to play a few slots at the casino.

I got bored quickly and decided to leave, and as I exited the casino building, I saw Lloyd standing on the bridge, staring into the water, black with the night and sparkling. He looked deep in thought and I decided to approach him, stepping up behind him carefully. He heard me after a moment and turned around quickly, looking pretty alarmed until he saw that it was only me, and I feel myself laughing at him-genuine laughter this time.

"I'm not an assassin," I joked. "Don't worry."

He shook his head and laughed, and I could feel it almost physically lighten my heart. "Nope," he agreed. "It's just Zelos—that guy who couldn't assassinate me if he tried." He grinned like an idiot.

"Don't you turn this into a fight," I warned playfully, taking a step toward him, only a few feet apart.

"The kind of fight you wouldn't win?" he challenged, and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"You've got so much to learn about life, Lloyd," I told him, feigning wisdom in my voice. "You're so young."

"Don't act all wise," Lloyd laughed, his voice accusatory. "You can't fool me like the others."

For some reason, what he said left me without words, so I just looked at him for a moment and shook my head. I chuckled as I turned toward the water, thinking about how I sure _could_ fool him. Wanting to say something but knowing it would bring up too many things I was _not_ ready to talk about, I said nothing.

"It's a pretty night, huh?" he asked as he faced the sea as well.

"Altamira always has pretty nights," I replied matter-of-factly, then silence fell between us.

"I guess you probably come here a lot, huh?" he asked after a moment, his voice a bit softer. "With girls, I mean."

I laughed hollowly, falling back into my act. I felt disappointed; I'd felt for a moment that I'd be able to drop my act, if only for a night, but I should've known better. "Yep," I told him, trying to sound proud, and I saw Lloyd nod out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to drop back into thought, the way he was before I approached him, and I sighed, not quite wanting my night to be shot. "Have you ever been gambling, Lloyd?" I asked him on a whim, and he turned toward me.

"No, never," he said, his voice innocent as ever. Honestly, you could never expect anything else from Lloyd. "Dad always told me gambling was poisonous."

I resisted the urge to scoff at his small-town morals. "You're an adult, Lloyd," I reminded him with a playful jab at his shoulder. "You can make your own decisions." I winked at him. "Wanna go play a round of cards? I'll teach you, then we play for money."

Lloyd's eyes widened and I couldn't help the smile curling its way onto my lips with the knowledge I'd won, and later, after losing five thousand Gald gambling—mostly due to Lloyd's inexperience—I decided that perhaps poker and slot machines weren't his thing.

"I told you I wasn't going to be any good!" Lloyd laughed as we left the casino and boarded the small train, and the aquatic locomotive began moving toward the hotel. It was half-past midnight.

I laughed along with him, shaking my head. "For once, I should have listened to you, Lloyd!" I teased.

The swordsman rolled his eyes before inspecting the view around us. We were coming close to the amusement park, and since we were moving so slowly, plenty of time was allotted for us to enjoy the view of the lights at night. Although the park had closed at midnight, the luminescent lights that adorned the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster remained lit just for the vanity of passers-by.

"The lights are so pretty, Zelos!" Lloyd said, and I only realized then how mystified he was with such a simple sight. Nearly everybody in Tethe'alla had seen the lights in Altamira at some point in their life, but Lloyd wasn't from Tethe'alla.

"It's really your first time, is it?" I asked, acting aloof but observing the view almost as carefully as Lloyd was.

"Yeah! It's incredible!" he exclaimed before turning back toward me. We were getting past the lights and only yards from our stop. When the driver of the tram ushered us off, I watched Lloyd stand carefully before dashing off and out of the vehicle, and I stood where I was for a moment just watching him.

"Are you coming, Zelos?" he called to me, and I nodded stretching a bit before I followed him off the tram and onto the cobblestone that would lead us to the hotel. We took the elevator up and crossed the bridge, the hotel now in our sight. Lloyd, still looking bouncy and energetic for it being so late, seemed like he couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

"Thanks, Zelos," he said as we both approached the entrance to the hotel.

"For what?" I asked with a tired laugh.

"I dunno…" Lloyd said, his voice trailing off to become quieter as we stepped inside the large building and the door shut behind us. We headed toward the elevator quickly. "For hanging out with me tonight, I guess. I had fun."

Instead of telling him that I had fun as well, I chuckled at him and crossed my arms as the small room we'd stepped into began transporting us up. This, too, was a part of my act, and almost a habit at this point.

"And sorry if I messed up your plans…" Lloyd added sheepishly as we stepped onto our floor and I pulled out the room key I'd taken earlier.

"What plans?" I asked confusedly. I didn't remember mentioning anything like that to him or any of our other friends.

"I don't know, I guess," he said, his voice almost a whisper as my key was shoved into the lock on the door and jumbled around. "With a girl or something. I'm probably not as fun as those bunny girls."

I didn't know whether to laugh or be serious, so I opted for the former, but quietly. I opened the door carefully to find that our entire team had already fallen asleep. I gestured for Lloyd to go in first, and he smiled as he walked by me.

"Not by a long shot," I told him. I laughed, pretty sure that he didn't even know what made those bunny girls so fun in the first place. Not so strangely, I was rather glad I didn't run into any bunny girls. Strangely, I _was_ glad to have run into Lloyd, and I _did_ have a good time. He was just as fun as the bunny girls without even trying.

I shut the door extremely carefully behind me and got ready for bed in silence, claiming a small, unoccupied bed in the corner as my own and inconspicuously watching Lloyd get ready for bed in the opposite corner.

I drifted off to sleep slowly. Lloyd was asleep before me and I could hear his light snoring even from across the room—maybe just because I was listening for it. The last image in my mind before I lost consciousness was the look on Lloyd's face when we passed by the lights on the tram, and I couldn't help but imagine his eyes, filled with wonderment, fixated on me.

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><p><strong>Like it so far? Favorite &amp; subscribe, and let me know what you think by reviewing! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter deux, ready, set, go! I really like how this turned out for the most part, although I got a little lazy in some parts... It's like almost 1:30 in the morning. Gimme a break. I'm exhausted. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this! Make sure you let me know how you like it, because your reviews help me make it better! (Also, I realized I haven't made it clear when this takes place in game. It's anytime after both Colette and Presea have been saved from their taciturn-ness and when you have all eight characters.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ToS or any of the stuffs/peoples from it.**

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><p>It had all started because Sheena and I got on the subject of games. Passing through Meltokio a few days after our night in Altamira we saw a group of children, maybe twelve or thirteen, engaged in some odd-looking game that I knew <em>I'd<em> never played before. Sheena acted surprised when I said something about it, telling me most kids have played it; even she did growing up in Mizuho.

"I'm not a commoner, Sheena," I reminded her with a wink. "I wasn't allowed to play with the peasant children, nor was I allowed to participate in their simple games." That earned me a firm jab in the arm, but I shook it off, growing quite accustomed to the abuse.

After she was sure my arm knew just how much I'd upset her, she ceased and was quiet for a moment before she asked, "Then what kind of games _did_ you play growing up, Zelos?"

I laughed for a moment and tried to think of some. I'd grown up playing with the children of the nobles and the wealthy—when I was allowed to play at all. As a child, I was studying most of the time. The Chosen had to be smart. When I did play, though, there was one game that always guaranteed interesting results, and I didn't necessarily like to participate all the time, but good or bad, the outcomes of the game were never dull.

"Spin the bottle," I said with a defined smirk, and the ninja rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Of course," she sighed. "Why didn't I guess that?"

"What's 'spin the bottle?'" someone asked suddenly, and it took me a few moments before I turned my head and realized it was Lloyd. It had skipped my mind that anyone else might be listening to our exchange, but nevertheless, I found myself surprised that even a naïveté like Lloyd didn't know what such a common kissing game was.

I turned around and began walking backwards, now facing Lloyd. "What? You're saying you've never heard of it before?" I asked, injecting the melodrama my teammates had come to expect from me in my voice.

"I guess," he said, his face getting a little red, and I couldn't help but laugh a little unintentionally.

Sheena walked a bit closer to Lloyd. "Give him a break, Zelos! Lloyd's got more morals than you. Of course he wouldn't know about that kind of game."

I laughed. "Yeah, right!" I scoffed at her. "Like you've never played before!"

That shut her up, and I nodded in victory as Sheena's face flushed. Turning to Lloyd, she put a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me, Lloyd, it's a game that you don't want to get yourself involved in—especially not with _this _pervert." She gestured toward me and I made a face at her.

Lloyd still looked confused. "Well, what kind of game is it? How do you play?"

Clearing her throat, Sheena began. "You need a decent amount of people… At least four or so, probably. Everyone makes a circle and takes turns spinning an empty bottle in the center, then whoever it points to when it stops spinning has to—"

"Hang on, Sheena," I said, interjecting obtrusively and promptly cutting her off. She shot me a dirty, suspicious look, but stopped talking. "How about we show you how to play, Lloyd? I think we could get enough people to play."

Sheena coughed. "No!" she said firmly, but I ignored her, turning to Lloyd, who was still quiet.

"Lloyd?" I asked.

"I don't know," the swordsman said skeptically, a slight smile on his face as he looked me straight in the eye. "Last time you taught me how to play a game I lost us five-thousand Gald…"

"Wait, what?" I heard Sheena ask, and I cracked up laughing; Lloyd and I were the only ones who knew what had happened that night in Altamira.

"Nothing!" I choked out. "It's not important." I was still struggling to take a full breath, and while Lloyd knew about Altamira, both he and Sheena were looking at me like I had two heads. "So, what do you say then, Lloyd? There's no money involved this time."

"You promise?" he asked playfully.

"I promise," I said, raising my right hand as if taking a pledge. Dropping it, I added, "but you can pay me if you want to when it's over."

I turned back around to continue walking and felt Sheena whack me violently in the back of the head, and despite the pain that brought, I couldn't help feeling a little flutter in my chest. Excitement. I hadn't played in so long.

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><p>It had been awhile since I'd been home, but nothing had changed about my personal mansion since I left it. The team and I decided to spend the night there; it was free, after all, and I had enough beds to accommodate everybody. We ate the dinner my butler prepared for us, and then I met up with Lloyd and Sheena afterwards to plan out our little game. First, we needed to recruit.<p>

It took a good ten minutes, but I was able to convince little Presea to play with us, and using the possibility of stealing a kiss from her as bait, I also hooked Genis into "a round or two." The little brat already knew the game and only agreed because of his little crush. It was easy to get Colette to play. I didn't have to explain any part of the game to her; she only needed to know that Lloyd was playing. Between Sheena and me, we agreed that Regal and the professor could do what they wanted for the night and we wouldn't disturb them. They were a little old for our game.

There were six of us, and we gathered in the den downstairs. Perfect, really. I told everybody to get into a circle and sit down, and it was flawless.

"I think a couple of you already know how to play," I said with a chuckle, and I could almost hear Genis and Sheena growling under their breath. I'd made sure to grab an empty glass bottle from the kitchen before joining the circle, and I held up said object in my hand. "Spin the bottle is the name, and kissing is the game."

Eyes around the circle widened. Everyone who didn't already know the game was catching on, and I was admittedly enjoying the surprised look on Lloyd's face.

Leaning forward from my sitting position in the circle and into the middle, I placed the bottle on the wood floor carefully. "As you can probably guess, when it's your turn, you spin the bottle. Whoever it lands on, well… you get to give them a smooch!" I spun the bottle once just to show them, and it surprisingly stopped pointed straight at Sheena. I raised my eyebrows at her and she blushed red.

"No way!" she said, and I laughed, full of good humor already as everyone's eyes fell on us.

"You don't want to kiss me, Sheena?" I asked her, sounding innocent and sticking out my lower lip. The thought honestly didn't do a thing for me, but I was sure it would be fun for everyone else to watch, and there was nothing I loved more than being a showman.

"Never!" she cried, making a disgusted face.

"That was just an example, anyway," I said with a wink in her direction, and I could hear someone who'd been holding their breath exhale sharply, but I didn't look up in time to see who it was. "Would you like to do the honors of starting us off, Sheena? Then we'll go clockwise from you."

"I guess so," she grumbled as I took my spot back and she spun the bottle. The tip of the bottle went around a few times before it started to slow down significantly, and when it finally stopped, I had to stop myself from groaning.

"Ooh!" I cooed, feeling myself slip into my act, but not sure why. I didn't have to care if they kissed. "Sheena! Pucker up and kiss Lloyd."

Lloyd's face, which already hosted a light pink blush, flushed completely red, and he opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. I didn't expect him to have any objections to kissing a beauty like Sheena, but did he actually have _feelings_ for her? Why hadn't he told me? We were friends. I almost felt betrayed, and I wasn't quite sure what the look on my face was as I watched Sheena lean in and shyly peck her match on the lips. This was going to be a long game. I sighed.

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><p>Nearly an hour—almost twenty rounds—later, we were beginning to get tired. After Sheena and Lloyd, it was Colette and Genis; Lloyd and Colette (Colette flushed five different shades of scarlet); Presea and me (Sheena made me kiss her on the cheek); Genis and Lloyd (that didn't happen—Genis refused); me and Colette (awkward, but she reacted cutely); Sheena and Presea (Presea asked for it on the cheek); Colette and me again (I kissed her on the hand and she blushed); Lloyd and Colette again (I was getting tired of this one); Presea and Genis (Genis was pretty thrilled about that and pretty much tuned out after that babyish excuse for a kiss); Genis and me (but he punched me in the head when I tried to get close); me and Sheena (and she let me this time!); Sheena and Genis (Genis wouldn't stop complaining about the stupidity of the game); then Colette and Lloyd for the third time (I couldn't watch <em>that<em> again; I looked away).

We were closing in on the end of our game. Presea kept falling asleep on Genis' shoulder and Colette on Lloyd's. The blonde was jerked awake when the swordsman found it was his turn once again, and after apologizing to the sleeping angel, he leaned forward to spin the bottle.

I found myself watching the tip of the bottle intently, as I did every turn, but as it began to slow and inched my way, I could feel my heart, usually calm, beating in my throat.

"Lloyd and Zelos!" Sheena exclaimed, and I could hear laughter and mischief in her voice. "Finally something interesting!"

I looked up at Lloyd slowly to find that he wasn't looking back at me, almost as if he was hiding his face. I gulped, trying to calm myself to no avail. Two seconds—the longest two seconds of my life—passed before Lloyd got on his hands and knees and crawled across the middle of the circle toward me, eyes never meeting mine, and leaned into me. His lips pressed against mine clumsily as one who had kissed either very little or not at all. Instinctively I leaned into him, kissing him back softly and finding that I really didn't want to part.

I lost track of time—although it couldn't have been more than six or seven seconds—before Lloyd pulled back, and I heard shuffling as he sat back in his spot. I looked up and Colette had stood up, announcing that she was getting too tired and was going to bed.

"Me too," Genis said, and Presea left as well. Sheena, Lloyd, and I were left.

"I warned you, Lloyd," Sheena said with a laugh, but her cheeks were still stained a bit red from all the excitement.

Lloyd let out a nervous-sounding chuckle. "Yeah, you did," he agreed. "I think I'm going to bed, too. Goodnight, Sheena. Goodnight, Zelos."

I looked at his eyes as he said my name, and smiled at him. "Thanks for playing, Lloyd," I told him, and I caught his eyes for a moment. "Sleep well."

Lloyd smiled at me before disappearing up the stairs, but my eyes followed him the entire time. Once he was out of view, I stood up as well, and so did Sheena. She was staring at me oddly, and I made a face at her.

"Like what you see, baby?" I asked her playfully, but I knew she knew that I was playing around at this point.

"Yeah, right," she spat. "What's up with you?"

I coughed. I sure _felt_ a little off, but I hadn't realized it was visible as well. "What do you mean?" I asked for clarification. I had to know what I was doing to give myself away so I could fix it by morning.

"You've been looking at Lloyd like he's a piece of meat the entire night, Zelos," she said. "And that didn't look much like a 'spin the bottle' kiss."

I was stunned silent. I had no idea how to reply to what she'd just told me, so I gaped at her.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I guess," she laughed. "I'll see you in the morning." She patted me a little too hard on the shoulder and she, as well, climbed the staircase to get to her guest bed.

A piece of _meat_?

And _what_ about the kiss?

I wished that I could pretend I had no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**YES, this chapter is unforgivably short. I apologize. However, this isn't a long and complicated fanfiction to begin with, and to be honest there are only two, MAYBE three chapters left. Not to say nothing else is going to happen... because not much has happened yet to begin with... but don't get your hopes up for something groundbreaking. This is Zelloyd. Not Sparta.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own ToS; Namco does. I don't claim to be Namco. My name is Tori.**

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><p>I slept like a rock in my bed that night—I was asleep as soon as I hit the sheets and didn't wake up once in the middle of the night. I didn't even have a dream. Eight straight hours of rest put me in a pretty good mood when I woke up, but when my eyes fluttered open after my slumber, I found myself just lying in my bed staring at my ceiling. Part of me missed the comfort of my bed, but there was an even bigger part of me that wanted to take some thinking time.<p>

Lloyd and I had kissed the previous night because of that stupid bottle, and I had no idea what was going to happen between us as a result.

I wondered if he liked it.

Rubbing my eyes, I sat up slowly and looked around me. I knew the others had to share the rooms of my guest quarters, but I still had my room to myself and there was sunlight streaming in through the glass doors that led to my balcony. I could smell something cooking wafting up from downstairs—blueberry something if my nose was correct—but beyond that my mansion was still. I couldn't hear any other noise around me from the guest chambers, downstairs, or even outside besides some faint chirping of birds.

I crossed my legs beneath my blankets and breathed slowly, what Sheena had told me beginning to come back to me. A piece of meat. I sure hoped Lloyd didn't notice; if it was obvious enough that _Sheena_ noticed then I might have something legitimate to fear.

Later that day, after everyone woke up and we had breakfast, we set back off on our journey, getting ever-closer to journeying to the Tower of Salvation and challenging Mithos to that last battle.

I felt shaken when I thought about how I was still on their side; I could've taken any opportunity to leave them and join a stronger side, but I stayed with them instead, and why?

Stupid question, I told myself as we prepared to board the Elemental Cargo and cross the sea. The answer was simple: Lloyd. I'd become considerably close to my teammates since we'd first started travelling together, but no one more so than Lloyd. I got along with the Professor, and I made a sport out of tormenting Sheena, but nobody got to me quite like my little bumpkin.

I found myself smiling softly in his direction as the sea breeze ruffled his already messy hair and I tore my gaze from him violently, hoping nobody saw that.

There wasn't a way for me to get around that I was falling head over ass in love with the clumsy, naïve, fashionably disastrous swordsman I called my friend.

While we were sailing, Raine asked me to help Lloyd and Genis with their math work. I complied happily, eager for a reason to be around Lloyd, even if I had to deal with the little brat around, too. Lucky for me Lloyd was struggling with fractions. It took me a good two hours to help him work through it. I was pleased.

Fate seemed to be in my favor that night; we ended up having to spend the night aboard the Elemental Cargo (much to Raine's dismay) and Lloyd and I were going to share a room, just for a night. We'd done it before, but after the kiss, it was almost as if _nothing_ was the same between us. As we laid down to sleep that night, both in separate beds but just feet apart in the cramped bed quarters of the EC, we were both silent for a long time, just listening to each other's breathing. It was comfortable more than awkward.

I had no idea what time it was when he finally said something. "Goodnight, Zelos," he said, his voice soft and cautious.

I smiled in the darkness. "Sweet dreams, Lloyd," I said, letting the sweet color in my voice show, and leaving it up to him completely whether I was being my "usual perverted self," or being serious.

I kept on listening to his gentle breathing until it evened out and I knew he was asleep.

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><p><strong>You should review now.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**The long-anticipated chapter four is here! And it is significant! Make sure you review to tell me how you like it. The next chapter should be up soon! Two more after this... I _think_. REVIEW!**

**Dislclaimer: Tales of Symphonia... not mine. Trust me on this one.**

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><p>Two weeks passed be quietly and things between Lloyd and me returned pretty much to normal… but we didn't talk by ourselves anymore, and I missed that. Mostly, though, I was glad he would still talk to me at all. And we never discussed the game. We both silently agreed that was forbidden territory.<p>

But I knew something had changed… for me, at least. I couldn't say that I didn't look at Lloyd and feel the same way I felt a month prior.

Sheena hadn't said anything else to me after that night, but every once in a while she delightedly caught me staring at Lloyd, and she would shoot me a stuck up, satisfied smirk. I would only make a face at her and go back to whatever I had been doing, being very careful not to let my eyes wander again.

That was proof enough that I never stopped thinking of him, but even so my body never let me rest; even in my dreams we were training together, or talking, or I was showing him how to play a new game. Once I dreamed that he kissed me… I was pretty rattled when I woke up after _that_.

My thoughts were getting more complex, it felt, and yet even simpler. All that I was thinking about (for an extended period of time, anyway) was Lloyd, but in tons of different ways. What's Lloyd thinking about? I wonder if Lloyd misses Sylvarant. Does Lloyd get tired of Colette always hanging around him? I wonder if Lloyd is thinking of me… It began to get almost frustrating; these days, he hardly ever spoke to me. I didn't really make attempts to talk to him much either, but… didn't he miss talking to me? We always seemed to end up apart and I loathed it. No matter where we went, I never saw him outside of battle, and it only got worse with each passing day.

One evening, we needed to make a stop in Flanoir for supplies and we decided to stay there for the night. We ate dinner in silence—all eight of us—then while Raine and Sheena went shopping, we all disbanded, free to wander through the sub-zero city. It was beautiful outside, the snow coming down hard, creating a gorgeous sort of scene; almost a white-out. The majority of the visibility came from streetlights, as well as a bit from the moon, which occasionally peeked out from behind the clouds.

I looked for Lloyd for about fifteen minutes, but it was too dark to see much, and after I'd checked most of the local shops I gave up, finding a snow-covered bench that overlooked most of Flanoir. I swept most of the snow from one section of the seat and fell down onto it, rubbing my arms to create friction heat, or at least try. It was too cold for that to have much of an effect, though, so I gave up. I could feel disappointment welling in my chest as not finding Lloyd and I looked up into the snow swirling around me, feeling tears coming on. I _never_ cried, so maybe it was okay, just once? I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them as the first quiet sob left my lips.

No one cared about me. I knew it. That was the reason I was so upset. But it wasn't the whole world I wanted to like me anymore—only Lloyd… Still too much to ask for, apparently.

I wished I was dead. Or not the Chosen. One or the other and people would like me—Lloyd would like me. If I couldn't find one person in the entire world—two worlds, even—to live for, what value did my life have? To score women? Yeah, _that's_ what I wanted from my life.

Tears welled up in my eyes and overflowed out and down my face for the first time in what was probably months, and I couldn't stop them. I buried my face in my arms and tried to quiet myself, but only transforming my sobs into muffled whining. I tried to put Lloyd out of my mind completely, but he kept coming back every time. His face, his eyes, his body, his voice… almost as if he was calling my name.

"Zelos?" said his voice, and I only cried harder. But it came again. "Zelos!" And suddenly I felt a hand on top of my head and felt weight settle onto the bench beside me. It took a moment to register that this was _not_ my imagination, and that realization jerked me into looking at my visitor.

Person matched voice: Lloyd.

I didn't meet his eyes—partially because I wasn't entirely sure I wanted him seeing me crying, and partially because my eyes were stinging with tears and I had to shut them again. The hand on my head because an arm around my shoulders and he pulled me into him carefully, my head against his chest and my freezing body melting into his warm one.

"Are you okay?" he asked me softly, and I could only shake my head. The last thing I wanted to do now was lie to Lloyd. He pulled me in a little closer. "You're cold." He paused, as if he was deliberating what he wanted to say next. "What's wrong?"

I tried taking a deep breath but gagged on the air, sure I wouldn't be able to make it through an entire explanation. Then it dawned on me—what was I going to tell him? That I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself because of my unrequited love for him? I attempted another shallow breath.

"I wish I'd never been born," I choked simply, my voice coming out weaker than I'd hoped. He squeezed me.

"Zelos! Why?" I could tell he was surprised. I didn't blame him; with my acting skills, I would be, too.

I coughed. The tears continued. "My life means… nothing." I breathed. "The world would be better off if I was dead." A sob heaved from my chest and escaped my mouth. "No one will say it, but everyone is thinking it."

Lloyd was quiet for a moment. "What about us?" he asked, but I didn't say anything. "The rest of the team and me… we care about you, Zelos."

I couldn't cease my whining, but I wished I could. I was having a hell of a time trying to communicate. "They don't," I told him. "I can use a sword—that's all I'm good for. I'm loud, I attract trouble, and the only thing I never fail at is womanizing." I turned my face to bury it in Lloyd's chest, staining his outfit with my tears.

"We don't always like those parts of you," he began slowly, then paused before adding, "but is that really you?"

I stopped my crying for a moment, dumbfounded by his question.

"I mean, the Zelos that I know to be this jerky, stuck up pervert is around more often, but I've also seen this other Zelos. Like that night in Altamira. When it was just me and you, it was like you were… happier. You weren't talking about being rich, being the Chosen, or getting girls, and… I don't know. You seemed more… you."

I couldn't believe it—I was shocked _out_ of my tears. He'd hit the nail right on the head. I clutched onto the fabric of his shirt and stayed completely still.

"I've been living a lie," I say, soft as I can, my voice hoarse from crying.

"I think I knew that," Lloyd said quietly. "But I think I've also seen the Zelos behind the lies. He's someone I'd like to get to know better." He paused. "And everyone else, too. I know they'd like to meet him."

"I don't care about them liking me… that much, anyway." I was beginning to calm down, my speech becoming more coherent. "I want something to live for. I want… I want my life to have value. To mean something."

"Your life has value to me," he said, and I moved closer to him. He pulled me in tighter. "Can we be friends, Zelos?" he asked, but I wasn't sure how to reply. "I mean… me and the _real_ Zelos."

I took a very slow breath.

"Yeah," I told him, my body relaxing into his grip. Snow landed on us in layers and I knew we would have to retreat indoors soon, but until then, I let myself go, showing a rare moment of weakness, completely unguarded. I didn't have to say a word.


	5. Chapter 5

**I know this has been a long time coming, but I have been EXTREEEEMELY busy. On another note, the next chapter will be the last! It probably won't be long and will likely look as if it should be combined with this chapter... but I'm too damn lazy. Enjoy! & REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah you already know I'm not Namco...**

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><p>Our journey went on after that night exactly as it had gone on before, but to my delight, Lloyd stopped avoiding me—or we stopped avoiding <em>each other<em>—and like he said, we actually started to become real friends. When we stopped in a town, he and I would run off together and eat alone, or we would volunteer to do the team's supply shopping together just for another excuse to be together for an extra twenty minutes. I think the rest of the team _did_ take notice of that, but no one ever said anything… until Sheena. Always fucking Sheena.

Lloyd and I had just returned from some supply shopping in Altamira when I suddenly felt myself being tugged by my hair—actually, yanked—away from the group. Lloyd didn't notice; he was talking to Raine about the things we'd just bought and was turned in the complete opposite direction.

Sheena didn't have the aggravated look on her face that I was expecting. Instead she looked mischievous, like she knew something I didn't know. Only I knew what she knew, and at this point, she also knew that I knew. I was becoming terrified that she was going to _tell_ people.

"Ow!" I yelped as she pulled me along and threw me against the side of the hotel building, away from our group who was standing in the front of the hotel. "That's attached to me, you know!"

Sheena scoffed and shook her head. "You know why you're here," she told me strictly, her voice evil in a way I've never heard it before. "Don't play dumb."

I crossed my arms and stared at her, waiting for her to go on. I knew she was going to.

"You and Lloyd have been stuck together like Colette and trouble for two weeks straight," she said, leaning on her hip and placing a hand there. "And on top of that, you haven't even _glanced_ at a girl for longer than that." She paused to breathe. "Don't make me bring up spin the bottle before you start talking."

I jumped in quickly. "We're _friends_, Sheena!" I told her, and that certainly wasn't stretching the truth. Disregarding what happened in Flanoir, Sheena hadn't missed anything between us—we weren't a couple or even anything more than friends. We were _specifically_ friends, as prescribed by Lloyd.

"Ass friends, maybe," she laughed, and I might have actually hissed at her.

"We are _not_ fucking!" I said harshly, trying to keep my voice low in case there were any wandering ears nearby.

Sheena raised an eyebrow. "But you'd like to be?" she said, lowering her voice as well, the intent in her tone very clear.

I wasn't going to answer that.

"So, what then, Zelos, are you in love with Lloyd?"

I coughed and looked around quickly—just checking—before straightening myself out a little bit, realizing I'd lost a little composure; I couldn't show Sheena of all people my weak side. "What are you going to do if I say yes?" I asked her carefully, but I knew that would give it away, anyway. At least I could enjoy her response.

She grinned a wide, windy grin that reminded me somewhat of vines with teeth. "You think you're such a great actor, Zelos, but you're an amateur," she said, mocking me as best she could. I rolled my eyes. "I figured you out." She paused, the laughter she'd been spouting fading. "But guess what."

I groaned aloud. "What?"

"He loves you back."

I couldn't deny that her words made my heart race. "W-what?" I demanded. "How do you know that?"

To that, she just laughed more. "I'm getting pretty good at this," she explained. "He wouldn't follow you around like some faithful little lap dog if he wasn't head over ass in love with you."

I knew my face was flushed. I couldn't control it. I couldn't even find the words to reply before she started walking back toward the group and I stumbled to follow her a few steps behind, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I was only a little bit red when we both rejoined our companions.

What. The. Hell.

Could she be right?

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><p>Following the trend of everywhere else we had been in the last couple of weeks, Lloyd and I mutually decided we would go to the amusement park. The rest of our team split up, some staying at the hotel and some retreating to various locations around Altamira. Before we left, I took special precautions to make sure that Sheena wasn't going to follow us. It didn't look like she was going to, but as Lloyd and I broke off from the rest of the party, I saw her shoot me the same vine-y grin from before.<p>

We rode the tram to the amusement park and ate a quick dinner before deciding to explore some of the rides. A half hour of this and I'd had quite enough already, not being much of a ride person myself, but I had to consider that Lloyd had probably never done anything quite like this.

Our last destination for was the Ferris wheel—"big and round," according to Lloyd—the only thing we had time to do before the park closed. I talked Lloyd into it by telling him all about how you could see the entire city from the top, all lit up and beautiful. He pulled me into our car.

We sat across from each other, but the cars were so ridiculously small that our bodies were really only a couple of feet apart and we faced each other. Lloyd was pretty fascinated with the whole idea of such a gigantic wheel at first, staring out the windows and pointing at things.

"I see our hotel!" he exclaimed, and I just laughed and nodded. It was the most visible building on our way up.

The machine felt like it was taking a staggeringly long time to get us to the top, and I felt like I was going to choke on the silence as Lloyd quieted down and I started thinking about what Sheena had said, since there was nothing else to occupy my mind. I kept wondering if Sheena was right—because, hey, she was right about me after all, and I'd kind of been trying to _not_ show it.

I kept looking up at him and every time our eyes met he would look away. _That's odd,_ I thought, and tested this out a few more times. The same thing happened every time. At this point, I gave up and rested my chin on my hand, staring out the window beside me and watching as our car climbed. Soon we were at the top and we stopped as they loaded more people—presumably couples—into the cars below us. I watched Lloyd look around in wonderment in the corner of my eye before returning my eyes to the city, which _did_ look lovely from so high up. Neither of the two of us made a sound.

"Hey, Zelos," Lloyd said suddenly, breaking the silence effectively. Wondering what he was going to point out now, I turned my head toward him, and as soon as I did I was met with his warm, dry lips on mine. I was shocked—what the hell was this? Some kind of sick joke? Or was Sheena right?

All those thoughts left my mind and I melted when his hand cradled the side of my face. In response I reached up to grab onto his shoulders with both hands and leaned forward into him more in my seat, finding that I couldn't make myself think.

He was fucking _kissing_ me.

Our lips kneaded together gently and Lloyd began to slow after the first ten seconds or so, showing signs of pulling away, and so I let him. When he pulled back, I opened my eyes slowly and saw him lick his lips. I actually laughed, of all the things my body could've chosen to do.

"Now, what was _that_?" I asked him, my voice light and part playful, part serious. I was still a little fuzzy, but I was _very_ curious about many, many things.

"Don't make fun of me," he mumbled, and I could clearly see, even in the dark, that his face was bright red and he looked embarrassed.

I blinked slowly. "I didn't plan to," I told him honestly, and as my hands fell from his shoulders I added more quietly, "Where did that come from?"

Lloyd averted his eyes and looked out the window as we started moving again for a moment, this time down, and stopped once again. "Don't laugh at me," he said, weaker than his previous command, like he was afraid.

I shook my head. "I won't," I said, merely smiling now. As I said, all the laughter left my voice.

"I think I'm in love with you," he said bravely, and bless his soul, it was the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen. He still didn't look at me, but I was too mystified to care. Sheena was right… holy shit.

I didn't know what to say first. "That might be the best news I've ever gotten," I said with a quiet chuckle. He turned his head toward me and shot me a confused look. "I love you, too," I explained after a moment, his gaze pulling the words out of me.

The next thing I knew, I had Lloyd's arms around me tight, pulling me into him forcefully. I smiled and inhaled his scent—warmth and skin—and relaxed.

"Sorry…" Lloyd said quietly; sheepishly, his voice near my ear, "…but can we be _more_ than friends?" He alluded to the night in Flanoir, when he asked for us to be friends, and here he was, asking for more.

"Anything you want," I sighed. I was exploding into fireworks on the inside—Lloyd had no idea.

I leaned back a little and kissed him again, so I didn't get to see the look on the ride operator's face when he opened up the car and found two of his male passengers in a less-than-dramatic but still mind-blowing liplock, but I imagined that it was pretty funny.


End file.
